*arrogant-aggressively assertive, overbearing
It’s really very simple.
What feeling or force do you have when giving advice or instruction? Whether you are a teacher, doctor, mentor, supervisor, etc…what tone do you use to speak to & with others? Do you leave someone better off with your statement and feeling better for it or just the opposite-making only yourself feel better to prove a point?
I was at the dentist’s office the other day. A place I’m not particularly fond of-would have rather gone fishing, read a good book or water the flowers. Heck, anything but go to the Dentist.
But I did summon enough courage to go and have my teeth cleaned. Just a cleaning, mind you. I was told this was a new method of hydrosonic cleaning, faster and more efficient but was not told I’d need to come dressed for it- in a raincoat and shower cap.
After being in the chair and holding the saliva ejector for some minutes while also holding a dentists appliance the first time…I was able to withstand the intermittent showers much better than the dose of command given by the dental hygienist. “Close your mouth-You are spraying everywhere!” Her command was quite arrogant (it seemed to me) as it left me feeling like I never wanted to come back again. I did abruptly reply, “Thank you for the instructions!” And said so in the same forceful way that she had given me the instruction. And I didn’t feel good about responding that way either.
But there is a lesson to be learned. Not everyone is perfect using a saliva ejector after a short practice run. Sometimes it takes a bit of practice to be self-confident. And when one is self-confident, self-assured, it never demeans the other. In fact, it makes them feel better about the whole procedure. So regardless at what end you find yourself at, keep this in mind when dealing with people- it helps being confident without being arrogant to others.